He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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