i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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