Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
