So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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