my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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