Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
