i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He did a backflip because drugs
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
