drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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