So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
