Whod you bang
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
