he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
