Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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