It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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