im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
birth control should be required to get into college
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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