By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize