I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
