apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
