all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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