I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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