I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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