i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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