Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
