That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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