i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
