he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
