Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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Edward fifth and chaser hands
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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