i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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