today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
