remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize