Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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