So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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