I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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