so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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