Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
