apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
