I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
