Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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