Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
