? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
