my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
