did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
