We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
