i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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