Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
