i just google imaged poop.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
