his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
