Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize