You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
