if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize