so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
