her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
