you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize