my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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