I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
