Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
