Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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