do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
